Your Partner During Pregnancy.

Usually pregnancy involves three people you, your growing baby and your partner. Your partner's support during pregnancy can be important to you. At times you may be emotional; having someone to discuss your concerns with can be reassuring. And it's wonderful to share your happiness during this time of change. Together, you can dream and plan for your future as a family.

Your pregnancy may cause some nervousness or anxiety in your partner. It's probably important to your partner to be able to share his feelings and concerns with you, too. Be supportive of him; encourage him to share his thoughts and ideas with you. It may help him feel part of your pregnancy.
Encourage him to go to your prenatal appointments with you. It will give him the opportunity to ask questions that are important to him. Often a man will ask whether it is safe to have sex during pregnancy. In a normal pregnancy, this isn't usually a problem. As we all know, sexual intimacy is a wonderful way to express our love for each other. In most cases, pregnancy doesn't mean this form of closeness has to stop. In some situations, you will need to be cautious. We suggest the two of you discuss this matter with your doctor, who knows your pregnancy situation.

Your pregnancy is the beginning of big changes in your life. After the birth of your baby, you will be a family, with a future to look for ward to. You will have many wonderful times to share, and maybe hard times to weather. Knowing you can count on one another helps when everything seems overwhelming. Establishing communication and caring for each other during this time can strengthen the bonds of your relationship and will help you in your future together.

How much should my partner be involved in my pregnancy?
Your partner can be an important source of support for you. Involve him as much as he is willing to be involved. Make him feel he's part of what's going on.

How can I involve my partner more in my pregnancy?
Because you are the focus during pregnancy, your partner may feel left out. Educate him so he understands what you and the baby are going through. Share with him this book and our other books and information you receive. Take him with you to see the doctor. Go to childbirth-education classes together.

YOUR PARTNER'S FEELINGS

My partner isn't as enthusiastic as I am about the upcoming birth of our first baby. Is this normal?
Not all expectant fathers are as excited about the impending birth as the mother-to-be is. You are directly involved in the pregnancy because you are carrying the baby. Your partner is less involved, so you may have to adjust your expectations somewhat. You may need to take an active role in encouraging your partner to become more involved, such as asking him to accompany you to a prenatal visit. Discuss with him his feelings about the pregnancy. He may have fears and uncertainties he hasn't voiced to you. Be open and direct with each other about your feelings it will help both of you.

Is it OK for my partner to go to my prenatal appointments with me?
It's a great idea for him to accompany you! It helps him realize what is happening to you and may help him feel more like he's a part of the pregnancy. It's also good for your partner and your doctor to meet before labor begins.

My partner seems very anxious about my pregnancy. Is this normal?
Your partner may feel increased anxiety as your pregnancy progresses. He may be concerned about your health, the health of the baby, sex, labor and delivery, and his ability to be a good father. Share your own concerns with him. It may help calm his anxieties.

YOUR PARTNER'S INVOLVEMENT IN THE PREGNANCY
My partner wants to know how he can make our pregnancy easier for me. What can I tell him?
A man can help his pregnant partner in many ways:
•   Keep stress to a minimum.
•   Communicate with you about his feelings and concerns.
•   Be patient and supportive.
•   Promote good nutrition.
•   Encourage exercise.
•   Help around the house and do chores.
•   Attend prenatal checkups when possible.
•   Plan for the baby's arrival.
•   Learn about the birth process.

YOUR PARTNER'S PHYSICAL HEALTH
Can a man can suffer from morning sickness when his wife is pregnant?
Many fathers-to-be experience some sort of physical problem during their wife's pregnancy. The condition is called couvade and was first noted in a Carib Indian tribe in which every expectant father engages in rituals that enable him to understand what his wife is experiencing. In our culture, a father-to-be may experience nausea, headache, back and muscle aches, insomnia, fatigue and depression.

I recently read that reproduction and fetal development may be affected if a man is exposed to various chemicals. Is this true?
Yes. Exposure by the father-to-be to alcohol, cigarettes, certain drugs and some environmental hazards could harm the unborn baby. It could also affect the man's ability to father a child or affect the quality of his sperm.

What kind of problems can be caused by a man's exposure to these substances?
Problems   include   miscarriage,   stillbirth,   birth   defects,   low birth weight babies, a greater risk of childhood cancer and even learning disabilities.

When is this exposure the most important?
Usually male exposure is harmful if it occurs before and around the time of conception.

I've heard that my partner's use of alcohol before my pregnancy may affect the baby. How?
Some researchers believe heavy alcohol consumption by the baby's father may produce fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) or fetal alcohol exposure (FAE) in the baby. (See page 214 for further information on FAS and FAE.) Alcohol intake by the father has also been linked to intrauterine-growth restriction.

My partner uses recreational drugs occasionally; I think he was using them when I got pregnant. Can this cause any problems?
Your partner's drug habits may have an effect on your pregnancy. The best thing to do is to discuss it with your doctor and see if there is anything he or she can do to reassure you about the well-being of your baby.

Is it true I need to be concerned about substances my partner is exposed to at work?
Yes. Your partner may bring substances into your home on his work clothes. If you think you may be exposed to hazardous substances in this manner, discuss it with your partner and your doctor.

I don't smoke, but my partner does. Should I try to get him to stop now that I'm pregnant?
When a nonsmoking pregnant woman and her unborn baby are exposed to secondhand smoke, both are exposed to harmful chemicals. Ask your partner to stop smoking during your pregnancy or at least not to smoke inside your home or your car. You can also avoid exposure by not going to public places that allow smoking.

My partner is 53. Can his age cause problems for me or my baby?
We have information indicating the age and health of the father does make a difference in the health of your baby. Some researchers believe there may be a slight increase in the risk of Down syndrome and other problems if the baby's father is over 50.

YOUR PARTNER'S INVOLVEMENT DURING AND AFTER THE BIRTH
Will the doctor let my partner cut the umbilical cord after the birth?
Cutting the cord is something many men enjoy doing. Talk to your doctor about your partner's participation in the delivery.

I'm afraid I'm going to feel exhausted dealing with the baby after we get home. How can I get my partner to help me?
It's better when both partners share the responsibilities and chores of parenthood. Form an equal-parenthood partnership, and encourage him to take equal responsibility for parenting your new baby. He'll enjoy being a father much more if he is actively involved in the care and decision making for his new daughter or son.

My doctor said my partner can be very important to me during labor and delivery. How?
He can help prepare you for childbirth, and he can support you as you labor. He can share in the joy of the delivery of your baby. He can also support you emotionally, which can be important to you both.